I've fought this moment. It was never supposed to happen. You were supposed to keep your promise. We were supposed to be together by now. But, somewhere along your 'somdeday' and your silence, something changed in you, or rather it was you. You became a warped, idealistic, superficial version of yourself. And now the moment has come. The moment I've been dreading since we've met. The moment I have to say goodbye. But, I'm not letting you go until you know about every hateful thought. Of course, you'll never grasp the...hurt, for lack of a stronger word....that you caused me. You can't step outisde yourself and see what's in my eyes. See you the way I do. If you could, you would know that not only did you rip my heart into pieces, you gave me the courage to do this. And it will be the only thing I'll ever thank you for.
                The thing that hurt me most:your silence. If you would have grown some balls, learned to be socially ept, stood up for yourself...you could have told me you wanted nothing to do with me. It was never hard for you to do. You're just some spineless, chickenshit. If you really wanted to get your point across, you wouldn't have ignored me and hoped I got the hint. For someone so smart, you sure are emotionally and emotionally retarded. How hard is it to go up to someone and say 'I'm sorry but I don't see anything happening between us'? How fucking incapable are you? Obviously a lot worse off than I thought. If you can't do something that simple, how are you ever going to survive life after high school? Because the rest of the world is not your safe, perfect bubble you have chose to live in. I could have kept you from falling so hard. Everyone is imperfect. It's about time you learn. There's a lot you should learn.
                 For instance, you could learn who you are. It's a difficult task in general, but with you...you haven't even established a foundation for self-discovery. Yeah, you know you are determined, you have drive and ambition. You know you have a good heart. But everyone who spends seconds with you know that. How about letting someone know about what makes you tick? You don't have to vut open your soul and pour its contents over the entire student body, but give us something! I think the person who's come closest to knowing you was me. As seventh graders I knew that if you'd just open up we could be good friends. But you chose to keep that hardass demeanor and stainless steel wall around your heart. I take back what I said, I didn't come close to...I know you. You're a hypocrite. Telling me not to keep that wall around my heart, to let people in. What the fuck have you been doing for four damn years?! You have a fucking wall around your already cold heart. I don't want to be angry with you, but holy shit! When are you going to pull your head out of your ass? I got past my wall, but you made yours worse. You're a regular fucking stone mason!
                 You know what else I hate? Of course you don't, because if you did I wouldn't have had to write this. What I hate about you is that you don't hate me. You think I am a nice girl. A cute girl. A funny, caring, smart girl. I just annoy you because I want everyone to see the real you and you don't think anyone is good enough to see that. I hate you because you like me. How fucked up is that?
                  See what you're capable of? I went from hating you to seeing all over again why I'm crazy about you. But I still mean everything I've said. I just wish you could see this letter. I wish you would talk to me. I wish I could get over you because you aren't good for me. I wish I could say you are good for me. I wish you could be you. Unfortunately, none of this is coming true. Except for you being you, but you have to want it. And the only reason you don't see it...you don't realize this isn't the real you. That is how lost you are. That's sad, you're that far gone. This letter could have saved you. It'd bring you back, but you'll never see it. But, that's not because I'm scared to give it to you. I'm not. I could hand it over right now, no regrets. You'll never see it because you aren't going to understand. You're not ready for this kind of reality. It's not ready for you, either. Reality won't like the fact you're untrue to who you are. Reality is, the would doesn't need another socially retarded, emotionally crippled void. It needs you. But you, my friend (god, it kills me to call you my friend, because I know you aren't),want to be a selfish, insecure bastard. That's why you can't have this letter.......

                I hate that you never let me cross your mind. Don't think I don't notice the glances in the hall. I'm not the fucking dumbass here. You are. Just for once, do someone besides yourself a damn favor. Actually look me in the eyes. If you did, you'd open up your mind and let me in there. Let me invade your thoughts. You know that's what you want. You want to give me a shot, but you're afraid because it might fail. Am I close? I shouldn't be too far off the mark. You know, it's not fair that your posesses this ability to be loved by all those you let know you. You don't deserve it. Someone should be able to turn you away because of your major flaws and insecurities...but I hate that even as I'm saying this, my mind and heart know that isn't what I want for you. You deserve to have someone who truly does care for you and won't run just because you're hesitant to let them in right away. You're a handsome, smart, wonderful, smart, strong guy who deserves nothing but the best. But the thing about it is, you need a someone now. Not later. Because by later, you'll be so far gone and lost in your fake personality that a relationship will just ruin who you've become. I think that is your problem now. You think you're already that far gone....